Stop the Hurt ... and Rest

An analgesic was all I wanted to numb the pain. No. Not tylenol or ibuprofen. Instead, anything that would prevent me from thinking, or feeling all the hurt that frustrated my soul for months. So I turned to the one thing that I knew would take my mind off life in general, and more specifically our present state of being. Television.

It's called amusement. More accurately defined as the detainment of the mind.

I didn't want to think about the burden my husband carried as trustee of his father's estate, navigating strained relationships with his brother's children, our personal financial challenges, his health ... I was tired. I wanted off the island. But I couldn't escape the reality that our family was in desperate places, the enemy of our souls was focused on his success in ripping us apart -- divide and conquer -- and leaving us wounded, bleeding, and confused.

AMU'SEMENT, noun s as z. That which amuses, detains or engages the mind; entertainment of the mind; pastime; a pleasurable occupation of the senses, or that which furnishes it, as dancing, sports or music. (Webster's 1828 Dictionary, online)

The last thing any of us needs in a time of crisis is to sit and numb our pain. Whether it's television binging, alcohol, drugs, or spending without restraint the pain will be waiting, growing with interest, and ready to drown us in its deluge when we least expect it.

Teacher and pastor Jentezen Franklin shares in his devotional, Restart Your Heart, that to avoid facing those things that hurt us, pushing them down and refusing to acknowledge their hold on our hearts and effectively refusing to deal with them by handing them over to our Father in heaven, we keep our hands clenched and unable to receive the healing and blessing God has for us. God has every intention of keeping His promises. We often are unable to see the fulfillment due to the walls built by our need to self-protect and block any further injury to our lives. While God is unable to lie, always keeps His promises, ALWAYS heals, provides, and protects ... He is also unwilling to supersede our own will. He is patient and kind. He loves always and is not pushy or demanding. He will not force us to comply. That would be bullying.

One night, while still avoiding the pain but unable to escape it, my son began to share Scripture with me. I grew irritated and made excuses to leave the conversation. As I lay in bed that night, I considered the state of my heart. I was choosing to shut out the world around me for messages on a screen that went against everything I knew to be true. The amount of time wasted sitting with my attention on the screen could've been spent productively -- cleaning, preparing for a new housemate ... and I would complain about nothing getting accomplished around the house while I escaped.

I had a choice to make. And so do you.

Stoney Creek Park, BayPointe Beach

We can keep our fists clenched, holding to the hurt and bitterness life throws at us, or we can choose to drop it and grab hold of the hand reaching out to us. Jesus tells us, "Come to Me, ALL who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11: 28 NKJV). 

Peter later reminds us to "humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting your care upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5: 6-7 NKJV). 

Long ago, I learned that to engage with the LORD is to find an appointed place where you can meet with Him. Like the Prophet Elijah found, God's voice is not likely in the loud, booming elements heard; but rather in the still small voice heard when we quiet our hearts and listen, wait. He is always speaking. I, personally, am not always listening. 

The prophet Isaiah says, "But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40: 31 NKJV).

Lost Valley Bible Camp, Gaylord, MI

I had forgotten during one of life's storms. The winds were threatening to tear everything apart my family had worked so hard to build, and I was found to be striving against the wind and waves. Exhausted. Depleted. Defeated. I turned to my Father and whispered, "I can't." Then I held out my hands, filled with the brokenness of my making, and asked, "Please, would you fix this?"

The beautiful truth is, the ask is all He waits for. Like the father to the prodigal, He comes running, takes the sorrow upon Himself, and pulls us into His embrace, promising to never quit loving us.

If I am struggling to settle my mind enough to connect with God, I often will go to a place where contemplation (for me) becomes almost second nature. My favorite? Any body of water. Thankfully, I live in Michigan, surrounded by water on every side, and am 10 minutes from Lake St Clair. I can't tell you how often I would choose to lose myself in the beauty and quiet that I find when sitting beside a body of water.  It's God's creation. 

Here's a few photos of my favorite places.

Marine City, MI

Lost Valley Bible Camp, Gaylord, MI

Outer Banks, Avon, NC

God shows His glory in all of our moments. We must choose to see.

Let's choose to wait. Allow Him to provide the rest we so desperately need.