Always and Forever

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 It was 1997, and I was sitting in the window seat of an airplane, taking off from Houston and heading for Managua, Nicaragua.

My first mission trip. 

We'd flown into Houston from Detroit and had to run through the airport for our connector. As we prepared to board our flight, I could see the weather outside the window. Dark, ominous. Storms were brewing. Day seemed as night.

Aboard, I stared out the window, glad we were leaving this dreary sight. I could feel the aircraft taxi down the runway, and then tilt its nose as we climbed into the sky. I refused to look away from the window. We sailed through the clouds until we settled above them.

As we broke through the clouds, however, I was greeted by brilliant sunlight. Involuntarily, I squinted to protect my eyes, but I wanted to see it. Golden rays lined the clouds backed by the bluest sky.

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And then I heard Him. "Just like this sun was still here even on the darkest stormy day, I am always present with you."

At the time, I was thrilled to have heard from the LORD. I'd been on a quest to hear from Him. If that aircraft had turned back at that moment, I would have been satisfied with my trip. My 2 small children couldn't understand why I was leaving them. I wasn't sure my husband would be okay alone with them. Our daughter, at 5-yrs, had medical needs beyond our expertise.

As far as I understood at the time, this was the storm He spoke of.

Today, as I remember that moment I realize He was encouraging me, prophetically, regarding the coming years. Like most people, we have experienced loss of financial stability, health, family members, and youth ...  

I could detail each of our trials at length, but suffice it to say, the LORD has always been with us. At certain points, He would send others to provide a way through the wilderness.

Briefly, though, in 2011, we were driving on bald tires with no money to replace them. I asked the LORD and a friend sent a gift in the mail tucked into a cup I cherish to this day. The gift? Funds to purchase tires for the van. In 2013 my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I had no car to see her, and a group of writer friends rented a car for me to go see her. Later that year, one of those friends offered to pay my lost wages so I could go visit Mom on the weekend my brothers and I would be together--a rare occasion. Two months later, she went to be with the LORD. 

In 2016, my husband spent time in ICU while medical professionals and I fought for his life. There were other gusts in the periphery occurring as well. But there was a song, marching orders I believe, sent from my Father God to say, "It's not over until I say it is." Toby Mac's "Keep Walkin'" was my anthem for months. You can find it here.

All of this to say, that God is always going to keep His promises. And when the storm clouds gather and threaten the earth beneath us, even if the ground's shaking feels like a 12 on the Richter scale ... He promises, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you," (Isaiah 43:2 ESV).

The LORD bless you and keep you; 

the LORD make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;

the LORD lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace. 

~Numbers 6:24 - 26 ESV

Following God's Path

 

How often I think about the paths where I've come to a split in the road. Each way promises success, prosperity, pleasure, and satisfaction. But only one way can be chosen, so I analyze, and stress over, which direction is correct.

Honestly, I'd love to find a way to have it all. 

But this adds to the stress I already carry, as I attempt to juggle, unsuccessfully, everything. It's as though I believe I will be more successful and acceptable if I heap all the opportunities on my shoulders ... and finish.

Inevitably, something will fall through those proverbial cracks. Missed appointments are concerning, but when I begin to wake in the morning more tired than when I lay down at night; when the space in my mind is so foggy a travel advisory should be issued; or when I am so overwhelmed I begin to cry at a bird looking cross-eyed at me, something is out of alignment.

So, how do we know which path to take?

How will we know regret won't follow us down our chosen road?

One thing we must do is stop and take each path before our Father who has great plans for our lives. He designed us with specific qualities, personalities, and abilities. He also knows where we are weakest and most vulnerable.

Next, we go to Scripture, where we might not find specific direction but will find words like, "seek peace and pursue it ..." (Psalm 34: 14b). This portion of the passage begins with "Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing" (v 8 - 10). The Apostle Peter repeats this, knowing it is vital to our success, "Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and. pursue it. For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous. And His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil" (1 Peter 3: 11 - 12).

We follow these steps up with movement. Take a step in the direction that brings most peace. It may not make sense to anyone, even you. It may look daunting, impossible even. You might not feel qualified, but the thought of the journey is both exhilarating and frightening, but as Jay Austin and his wife in the film Flywheel said, produces a serene chaos.

Several years ago, I attended a writers' conference in Orange County, California. During this event, I was given an opportunity to sit and chat for 15-minutes with one of the speakers. My choice was author, Bill Myers. I'd enjoyed his testimony, inspired by it, actually. I had to ask him, "How do you know, once you've done the seeking and the reading, that you're stepping in the right direction?"

In his most descriptive way, he showed me what it looks like to take a step of faith, pause, wait for the "nod" of heaven then take another step.  In his words, some of the opportunities he's walked out have been nothing short of miraculous.

The key, he told me, is to take the step.

If we fail to take the step, we will inevitably be trapped by regrets' taunting voice, exposing our insecurity and lack of faith. 

When we step out, even if it's the wrong direction, our Father God has a beautiful navigation system (better than GPS) he uses to redirect our course. It's the measure of our heart, He sees and responds to. He knows whether we were in it for selfish gain or His glory. He is more than able to show us the way.

There are a couple questions I had to answer when deciding on birth center versus hospital birth for my third child. There would be no do-overs.

Does this, in any way, offend the truth of Scripture? 

Yes? STOP.

No? If you don't do this, will you wonder if you could have? 

Take the step, friend. I'm cheering for you.💞